Whatever parents do, the existing child’s best interest should drive those decisions.How you will announce your pregnancy to your family is one of the first things you think about, after you find out that you’re expecting. Sharing the news and explaining facts may be necessary then, she says. The one exception might be a particularly rough first trimester where a child is fearful of why mommy is spending so much time puking in bushes. “We don’t need to be making big announcements to siblings because then you’ll have to explain the loss of life.” “There are so many miscarriages in the first trimester,” Schafer says. Some parents are really excited to share the news, as evidenced by the number of peed-on pregnancy tests that show up on Instagram.īut when there is another child to think about, the advice to hold off on sharing good news is even more important. Parents are more uncomfortable about it than kids.īooks can be a great help. “Don’t include your child in situations that will further fears or feelings of resentment.” Be Readyĭiscussing a baby in mom’s belly can lead to an obvious question: How did it get in there? “It’s usually not the first question, but it may be a question that comes down the line,” Schafer says. “If you have a baby shower, consider getting a sitter,” she says. In other words, decorate the baby’s room, but don’t invite friends over to ooh and ahh, she says. Reassure that life is going to be mostly the same. She suggests keeping things calm and simple. “If a child is already feeling threatened, then you don’t want to add to the stress.” “Depending on the attitude, you don’t want to make it out like a prince or a princess is coming,” she says. Reassurance is vital rather than trying to change a mindset. So if that’s the reaction, parents need to be sensitive to it. There’s no way to predict or alter that reaction beyond framing it well from the start. Going from the only child to one of two can be really scary for a little one, Schafer says. “It’s the size of your baby brother or sister RIGHT NOW!” Ask your child: “What’s the size of this chocolate chip?” Have them guess. When you go grocery shopping each week, find the item one of the pregnancy apps will reference for the size of the baby each week. Each day you can count down “to baby kisses.” Count out a Hershey’s kiss for each day of the pregnancy.Schafer says a calendar can help make the long pregnancy more tangible time-wise for a child as they see how long it takes to cross off each new day. Count backwards on a wall calendar to the due date.
Kids can sense insincerity.” Three Fun Ways for Kids to Track The Baby’s Arrival “You can have a lot of fun, but don’t force it,” she says. Having some fun games to play along the way is great for a Pinterest Parent who likes to turn simple things into creative ventures, she says. How parents express that has to align with who they are as a person. Involve the child in decisions and help fuel the excitement of being a sibling, Schafer says. “God knows the infant isn’t going to know if anything exciting happened, so adapting to your existing children is far more important.” If They’re Excited You don’t want to tell them one heard first.” No matter how parents feel, it’s critical they focus on their current kids and adapting to them. “Kids need to be told at the same time in order to lessen sibling rivalry,” she says. Parents also have to consider avoiding the creation of a rift if they have multiple kids already. “The more we say it in a way of excitement, the better it is. “We must always take the attitude that it’s a positive thing,” she says. The third potential reaction, one of ambivalence, just doesn’t often last, she says. And one for a grumpy, upset or confused child, says Alyson Schafer, a family counselor and the author of Honey I Wrecked the Kids. In fact, it may help to have two plans going into the big reveal: One for an excited big brother or sister. That’s why parents may need to consider multiple options when announcing a new baby. That’s because when a child goes from being an only child to being one of two or even one of several, the emotional possibilities can be pretty extreme. It’s important to be highly in tune with your existing child when you share the news of a new sibling.
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